Recipe for marital success: husband and wife celebrate their PhD graduations

The road to a PhD is filled with challenges.

But for Dr Achalie Kumarage and Dr Madhawa Perera, it was a path they wanted to walk together.

The married couple were among more than 4,000 students who graduated from The Australian National University (ANU) this week.

“We were set on achieving an academic goal together,” Achalie says.

“It was really trying at times, but since we were on the same journey, our experiences resonated with each other, and we could understand each other better.”

The couple met in high school in Sri Lanka – introduced by a mutual friend – but it wasn’t until their first year as undergraduates that they began dating.

After graduating from the University of Colombo with degrees in law (Achalie) and information and community technology (Madhawa), they kept up their relationship long distance while Achalie completed her Master of Laws as a Fulbright Scholar in Washington DC.

It was Madhawa who first wanted to pursue a PhD at ANU. The research engineer was keen to build on his interests in human-computer interaction and explore how humans behave in the real world versus the virtual world (commonly known as the metaverse).

As part of his PhD with the ANU School of Computing, he explored how virtual reality can be used to study human gestures in remote, unsupervised conditions and model them in a way that a computer would be able to discern the associated meaning, particularly in cases where real-world experimental setups are challenging, and traditional research designs are impractical.  

“I spoke to several faculty members at different universities in Australia when I decided to pursue a PhD after working in the industry, and my supervisor Associate Professor Armin Haller was a really good fit,” he recalls.

“We had a long conversation about the research, the facilities and the University’s collaboration with CSIRO, where I’m working now.”

Achalie tells people her husband led her to ANU.

“I was so thrilled when he got into ANU – it basically drove me to apply there as well to join him,” she says.

“There was no hesitance at all – it’s the best university in Australia producing world class research in regulation and governance, so I didn’t have to think twice.”

Achalie’s research stems from an interest she’s harboured since childhood. Her father worked in the apparel industry, and a young Achalie would sometimes accompany him during the school holidays.

It was during these visits to garment factories that she met with the female garment workers stitching clothes sold by big fashion brands and had the chance to hear their stories.

 Supervised by Professor Miranda Forsyth from the ANU School of Regulation and Global Governance (RegNet), Achalie’s doctoral thesis focused on how the women toiling in garment factories use their voices to influence employers and decisionmakers across the garment supply chain.

“As a child I was really curious about what happens inside the large walls of the factories and industrial zones,” Achalie says. “These women work really hard to look after their families and to succeed in life.”

“With my training in law and society, I was able to channel that to engage more deeply with their lives and how women in these factories, often considered powerless and docile, action their rights in the workplace.”

Madhawa arrived in Canberra in 2019, while Achalie was still teaching law in Sri Lanka. She joined him in early 2020. They took up a studio apartment at Graduate House on the University campus and ended up living there throughout the COVID-19 pandemic.

“It was really testing, but it gave us the time to connect more closely with the ANU community around us,” Achalie says.

“Lake Burley Griffin became our regular getaway route, just behind Graduate House, passing Crawford School. With it so close by, we had no excuse not to go for a jog or walk around the lake.”

“Graduate House is a cohort of PhD and Master students as well, so a lot of us had similar milestones, similar kinds of challenges,” Madhawa adds.

“We both became senior residents and helped at and organised community events. The experience made us better people and that helped with our relationship as well.”

Baking together became a creative way for the couple to destress during their time at ANU. They made sure never to bake the same cake twice and set up an Instagram account to share their results.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by myfoodepisodes (@myfoodepisodes)

“We both knew we liked to try new things and we’d never baked before,” Madhawa says. “It helped to understand what we have in common and embrace that.”

“It was good to have a hobby to turn to when our PhDs got tough,” Achalie says. “It helped with creativity and thinking out of the box as well.”

Completing their doctorates together helped husband and wife to strengthen their existing bond. After submitting their theses, they celebrated with a trip to Iceland.

When asked what she’d tell other couples in academia, Achalie’s advice is simple.

“Take the time to understand each other,” she says.

“There are differences and commonalities—accept both. Be patient with each other. Be kind to each other. Once you achieve a milestone together, it’s all really worth it.”